well, so far this typing to myself isn't as fun as i thought it would be. i mean, i get to talk to myself all the time in my head anyway, why should i go through the process of typing it out ... unless there is some off chance that someone will stuble by here and be moderately amused.

but i haven't written anything amusing ... so there is the catch. now i feel pressure that my internal dialogue be *interesting* which it almost never is. i mean, who's is. a random thought goes through your head, spurs a few avenues of speculation and then is overrun by the next random thought that comes along.

but even the possibility someone might read it is kinda cool. i *suppose* that even if there isn't anything amusing in her NOW, that there might be LATER. and someone in the hopefully not too distant future will stumble upon this tribe, read something that made them twitch the corner of their mouth. the idea that someone might *someday* think i am *somewhat* interesting from afar is at least intriguing to me. i have an acceptance complex.

another dorky point ...

since i am the only one that posts here, the tribe never shows up on my list of tribes to read. i have to consciously remember to come here and post my little thoughts.

ken added this tribe to his list, so at least now someone else is notified when i write something. does this matter? strangely enough, not really. i don't really care who stops by and how often. i am suppose there are folks that read it without being members ... ok, well, after they have time to run across it ... then they might check it out once in a while.

i am a little ambivalent about having another member in this tribe. when it was just me, it was just me gabbing to myself. now there is a member. and not just any member, but sweet yummy ken. i don't think i want anyone else posting in here. at least not yet. and, how much is having him there leaning over my shoulder going to affect what i write here? hahaha! i crack myself up. like it matters! as if what i write here is some grand experiment in something BESIDES entertaining myself and work avoidance. i had better watch out. if my head gets any bigger, it might fit into a normal sized hat.

anyway, welcome ken! kristinanister #2!

so i took several steps today towards being on tribe less and working more. (1) i tried to stay off tribe. and i am doing ok so far. (2) i cleaned my desk and filed my papers and made my office environment much more workable. (3) i made the list of deliverables i have and clients i work on and set their status as "on hold" with why or "work" and on what. so i am ready to go.

so before i actually started working i thought i would take a quick cruise around tribe ... ;)

i changed my tribe pics this week to some from the photo-a-go-go shoot we did on the 27th (of March, 2004). fun pics with me in my leather and posing with my rifle. teehee!

as a result, i have gotten several random friend requests from folks who are "friends" of friends. the quotes are there because i don't know what other people's standards are for "befriending" someone. personally, i have to have at least met them or discussed stuff extensively online before they get to be in my list. i even infrequently pare down the list to get rid of folks i haven't talked to since a short initial meet, or who i don't remember where i met them at all ...

but i do wonder why there are folks out there, randomly trolling for "friends" (and i insert the quotation marks there because what kind of a friend *is* someone who will just befriend someone else willy nilly??). is there that much of a shortage of people who will talk to them? are they friend whores and just want a high number count? they want pics of half naked gals with guns in their friends list???? i just don't know ...

ok, so i was getting my morning hot chocolate at the cafe near my house this morning. the sweet indian lady clerk is bustling about making my breakfast while trying not to bang her 7 1/2 month pregnant belly on anything dangerous. in the meantime, this guy comes in, young but already balding and with one of those super cynical faces you expect to see in NYC. he stands behind me in line.

as i am pulling out the proper change from various pockets in my purses he comments ... "is there some new fashion warranting the wet hair?" i look at him. i am fresh from the shower and what does he care that my hair is wet? i restrain myself from making the obvious comment about his lack of hair, and tell him, "of course, didn't you know? very popular in europe this year. and by next year it will be all the rage." he barks a laugh and then looks puzzled. he mumbles "all the rage? huh. i've never heard that expression before." i really doubt my eyebrow could have gone higher but he didn't notice because i was hiding my astonishment. perhaps its because i am from the east or older than he or something but who ... WHO ... hasn't heard that expression?

in any case he completed my opinion of him by trying to bargain the clerk down on a danish. "they are awfully small ..." he said. the clerk and i look at each other and i made a mental note that there was NO WAY this man had a girlfriend. nope. not possible.